Today's post

Finally. I'm getting to today's post. Which, after three hours of typing and editing, is technically yesterday's post. But I'm going to call it today's post.

Today, I had my first day of Orientation. Which is quite marvelous, because it took me less than 45 minutes to prepare for it. This includes showering, outfit-choosing, and make-up. Amazing.

I'm a member of Section 14. Sounds like some secret government agency. Sections 11, 12 & 13 are each composed of 100+ students, but luckily for me, Section 14 is much smaller. Oh happy day.

During orientation, Dean Lawrence was talking. I spent most of my time listening fairly attentively, but something really caught my attention. He was talking about how to survive our 1L, and he got on the topic of our drive. What's driving us as students? What will drive us as lawyers? Money? Prestige? Power? Position?

Then he said something that gave me a moment of panic. Ever since I took a law school prep course a few days ago, I've been feeling a little overwhelmed, a little panicky. There's so much I don't know that I'll be expected to know. For once, I may not be one of the smartest people in my group. Can I handle disappointing myself? I'm completely unprepared for this. Can I earn a GPA that will maintain my scholarship? WHAT DID I GET MYSELF INTO?

His words made it worse. He said, "Remember why you decided to study law."

I took my LSAT for the first time in 2006. Since then, I've graduated college, got a job, moved to a different country, met a boy. So much has happened, yet in the back of my mind, law school has always lingered. It's just always been 'the next step.' It's been what's been expected of me, and what I've expected myself to do. Last year, I wondered if it was really the right path for me, but I brushed aside those queries because it had been, for so long, 'the next step.'

And he told me to remember why I decided to study law, and I asked myself why I decided to study to law and I realized what I had known in the back of my mind for a very long time: that I couldn't answer that question.

Thankfully, he answered the question. He reminded me that it wasn't the money, the prestige, or the power (although, admittedly, those are certainly some perks). He reminded me what that naive idealist had thought three years ago: it's a means to do something good. And now, just a little more knowledgeable, a little less naive, I know that I can still do something good.

I just have to remember why I decided to study law.