Innocence lost

This story is not for the faint-hearted.

So far, Korea has been all glitz and glamour. It's one of the most cosmopolitan places I've been to. Nearly everybody is in shape and dresses great (clothes are so cute here!). Stores belt out K-pop or Top 40, and K-dramas rock. Bright lights of every color make midnight look like noon. I've never felt unsafe (except when crossing the street). But yesterday, I had a shocking reality check.

Despite the fact that I'm half-Korean, despite the stories my mom told me, I, in all of my western whiteness, could not have been more ill-prepared for what I experienced if I had grown up in a hermitage.

Thursday we headed out to Moran station to get my mobile. We went to three different vendors. The second vendor had a really great deal, but...the salesman at the third vendor was cute. So let's guess which one I went with. Actually, my Korean side (built-in love of money) also played a part: although more expensive initially, the third vendor offered more security in case I go over my minutes, which I'm prone to do. nuff said. I got my phone and noticed an outdoors shop, but didn't go in because I really wanted to go home and take a nap.

Yesterday I headed back out to Moran station to check out the store. Yeah, I got the usual ajashi push at the subway, but I wasn't in a bad mood so I didn't shove him back. But one of these days... About ten feet from the store door, the sunny sky suddenly began to pelt down rain, and I hurried in (curse me for taking sunglasses instead of an umbrella! I actually looked at my umbrella before leaving home, and decided I wouldn't need it). As usual, the salesman was smothering, and I really wish I knew enough Korean to say "Do you want to leave me alone, or do you want me to walk out?" Instead I just stopped and stared at him and he got the message. They didn't have what I wanted, but I didn't want to venture back out in the rain (curse me again for leaving my umbrella!), so I just hung out for a bit longer. I finally got sick of waiting and left, and luckily the rain began to die down just as I walked out the door.

The rain stopped just as suddenly as it had started, so I looked around some more. Moran has a "five day" market, which means that every five days (on days that end in "4" and "9"), the markets open up. This is reminiscent of the olden golden days when markets only opened periodically since transportation and communication were slow. Although I didn't know where the market was, I saw some open air shops that looked like a market, so I headed there to check it out.

I expected something like Namdaemun shijang, where I can find clothes, household items, and cheap fruits and veggies. Turns out, I didn't walk into a shijang, I walked into a live meat market. Basically a butcher shop. The first 10 feet were ok. Roosters, goats. Not gonna stop me from eating chicken. But then came the dogs.

I know that some Koreans eat dog. I know that Korea has been rural, and for the first 60 years of the century, desperately destitute. I know that when all the options are gone, people have to do some things that they may not do under normal conditions. I also know that often, "undesirable parts," when a country achieves prosperity, suddenly transform into "delicacies." Think escargot in France: people could not have possibly eaten that because they wanted to, but now it's high-dollar, or franc or euro or whatever.

Until yesterday, I was also open to eating dog meat. That sounds really gross, but you have to understand where I'm coming from. The dogs that people eat are not pets. They are specifically bred to be food. They actually look more like coyotes than dogs. So people aren't taking German shepherds and terriers and throwing them into the crockpot. ...Although I wouldn't mind so much chihuahuas and poodles. haha, make the world a better place... But also, growing up in the U.S., I've always been subjected to "eeew, how can you eat that?" when I describe Korean food (squid, seaweed, etc.). To which I've always wanted to reply (but wisely held my tongue) "shut up you uncultured pedantic cracker." Because of this response I've always gotten, I've made it a point to be open to other foods, no matter how much the idea grosses me out. Worst-case scenario about food: something gross goes into your body, and it comes out as something equally as gross. capisce?

Yesterday changed my mind. My mind immediately registered why I was seeing dogs penned up in a meat market. They just laid there, as if they knew their fate. Only one was sitting up and moving around, like it refused to give in. The worst part was glancing down at the ground and meeting three dead dogs lying in a pool of blood. I was in shock. I was numb. I couldn't stand to watch, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from the sight. I just kept walking and staring.

Until a vendor approached me and motioned me to check out his wares. Reflecting on the situation, it now occurs to me that I gave him a very shocked and disgusted look, and I know that for a fleeting tenth-of-a-second the half-formed thought (think Faulkner stream of consciousness) that I can only translate into, "what? are you going to kill and eat me, too?" sped through my mind. Totally illogical, to jump from eating dogs to cannibalism, but my trite justifications: one, my mind was responding in shock, and two, in my western mind it's not a far jump from eating a "pet" to eating a human. I'm ashamed of my lack of reason and my response, but culture is culture and I can only do so much to reeducate myself.

In a split second after that, I realized that I was either going to get sick or start crying if I didn't escape, pronto. I hurried into an alley and found my way back to the main street, and to the station. I felt dirty and disgusted, and tired and down.

Which only offers two solutions: 1) drinks with friends or 2) shopping. It was only 4 p.m., so I opted for the latter. Headed to Migeum station to check out 2001 Outlet, which is an oasis of affordability in Korea's high-cost society. *sigh of relief* It's also an oasis of bright lights and sterility and modernity, after what I had experienced just minutes before. *sigh of relief* People my age, sporting Lacoste and Converses...it was a welcome sight.

Back at home, it was both ironic and healing to hear pet dogs playing and barking in the courtyard below my apartment.