Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

As you may remember, it's been years since the first time you put 'necessities' in my stocking: deodorant, floss, lotion, and the like. And the whole of my college years involved my 'big present' consisting of a pile of textbooks. I've taken these developments with grace, only slightly ruing my waning adolescence. And, now that I've completed my second day of school, I think it's time to fully embrace my adulthood by foregoing all pretensions of a happy Christmas. Thus I present this year's list.


School supplies

• 7 6-packs of highlighters, rainbow colours
• 6 3-packs of yellow, orange and pink highlighters
• 3 3-packs of yellow highlighters

Health and Beauty

• 1 free pass to optometrist of my choosing for a new prescription
• 2 new lenses for my glasses
• 1 year's supply of contact lenses

Grocery

• 3 bags of gourmet coffee [OR] 1 espresso maker
• 3 bottles of Tylenol PM (gelcaps, thank you)

Household

• 3 2-packs 60-watt "soft white" non-halogen light bulbs for desk lamp

Automotive

• directions to a medical center that will pay for blood, plasma, ova, kidneys, whatever

Any remaining quantities of Christmas magic can be applied to:

• 1 Canon EOS macro lens [AND/OR]
• 1 Canon EOS wide-angle lens [AND/OR]
• 1 Canon EOS telephoto zoom lens

In exchange for above services, as well as any other required services*, I will continue to believe in you for approximately one year. The fulfillment of your services will not be deemed complete until the items are in my possession (under my tree).


Sincerely,

Monica Kim


*I reserve the right to change this list. This right will expire at 11:59:59 PM EST on 23 December, 2009, giving you a minimum of 24 hours to comply with any changes.

As cosignor AND transit company CEO, you are compelled to certify that reindeer are fed only 'organic' magic oats, as per WFGO rule 17. Also, it is your responsibility to comply with regulations and statutes established by Congress, the FAA and DoD while in American airspace. You are hereby warned that you are on the radar and non-compliance can result in a trial in Federal court or by military tribunal.

Elven labour must be conducted in a 'sweat-free' environment, as per NP statute 24 s. 49(a)(ii). Failure to comply can result in a $2500 fine and up to 10 months in jail.