On pizza

Today I ate pizza for dinner.

In over 1 1/2 years, I think this is the fourth time I've dined in a pizza restaurant, so I don't really have many opportunities to observe Korean pizza etiquette.

Most westerners (AMERICANS) I know complain about pizza in Korea. Personally, potatoes, sweet potatoes, and corn on pizza don't disgust me. In fact, I find a crust stuffed with sweet potato and covered in cheddar quite appealing and tasty. And while I don't appreciate the use of Tobasco instead of crushed red pepper flakes, or the insufficient salad bar (what? No shredded cheese? No green peas? Unlabeled dressing spoons?!), I don't believe any of these offend the gods of the marinara. In fact, using a fork and knife to eat pizza doesn't even bother me; it's just something to laugh at!

What bothers me can be summed up in one word: pickles.

Yes, Koreans eat pickles with their pizza. They also eat pickles with their pasta. That's just plain wrong.

As a non-Italian American, I realize that I may not have the last word on what may or may not be consumed with pizza. However, the American pizza, oven-fried in its own grease, is very different from the relatively light Italian pizza, and this is the pizza that has been marketed around the world by home-grown companies like Pizza Hut and Papa John's, and has found its way into the stomachs, butts, thighs, cholesterol levels and hearts of aficionados all over the world. Therefore, I think I can confidently say that as an American, raised on grease-slathered pizza since infancy, I am an expert.

And I condemn the consumption of pickles with pizza.

Why can't Koreans eat pizza like Americans? While my family might not necessarily be the white, 1950s Dick-and-Jane version of the 'All-American family,' we are still, in fact, an all-American family: we lived in the 'burbs with a barbecue on the back patio. Why can't Koreans eat pizza like my family? Our version tastes better, and it's definitely better for one's health.

Korea: drop the pickles! Eat your pizza and pasta as God intended: with kimchi!



Sidenote: the unlabeled dressing spoons really bother me. Today, what was apparently honey mustard ended up being that butter garlic dip for one's crust.

Sidenote 2: I've always been perplexed by the fact that Koreans eat a whole meal for breakfast. To me, coffee is sufficient. A banana if I'm hungry, and real food is only for the weekends when I wake up before noon. I've never understood how Koreans can eat rice, soup & banchan for breakfast. Then I remembered leftover pizza, and suddenly everything made sense.