Things on my mind

For the past few weeks I've been a little stressed. Getting back into the gear of school, creating lesson plans, and a nasty head cold left me crawling willingly into bed around seven pm, and crawling unwillingly out of bed at seven am.

The most stressful thing, gnawing incessantly on the back of my mind, was the thought of the enormonguous debt I will be procuring over the next three years. Add to that the fact that I can't even fill out my loan applications because I need my parents' tax information. Yes, amazingly, even though I'm no longer a dependent, have NEVER had my parents pay for my education, and live halfway across the world from my parents' pocketbooks, law schools somehow expect that my parents are going to be helping me with my education, meaning that I need their tax information.

Sidenote: need-based grants?! When you're talking about a $150,000 debt, who WOULDN'T qualify?

Throw in a faltering economy whose hiring rates may or may not improve in three years. I recently read in the Post that some of the nation's largest law firms are downsizing. Big debt + no job? I could feel my stress compounding continuously.

Factor in yesterday. I knew that I would be receiving an acceptance packet from George Washington, but when the envelopes arrived I found a neat little gem: a scholarship letter! Apparently I'm getting a hefty chunk of tuition paid for, in addition to housing for my first year. I did a silly little dance, hopping moronically around my flat, stylistically reminiscent of Mr. Bean on Christmas, then emailed my parents to tell them that they don't have to feel SO guilty about not donating a red cent to my law school fund. (I jest. Honestly, my mom has offered to help, but I declined. Strangely, dad never offered...)

Factor in this morning. I receive an email from Northwestern telling me that I've been accepted, and that I better fill out my financial aid applications pronto.

And suddenly it dawns on me. In four months, I'm going to drop the life that I've created, and start something completely different.

Already my mind is swimming with melancholy reminders of the things I can't pack up and take: the safe busyness of Seoul, weekend trips to secluded temples and mountain tops, the beautiful people I've befriended and have come to love...

At this point, I'm not sure if I can live the rest of my life without spending more time in this beautiful country. Not just visiting for a week, or a month, but living. As exasperating as Korean society can sometimes be to a westerner, and as much as I miss things like American football, pit barbecue and company softball leagues, this place has truly become...home.

Lists coming up soon.